Just to levelset, you're unlikely to get an 'official' response from the Tableau development team on the issue in these forums. I'd also recommend you continue to push the issue via your account manager or by creating a case on the Tableau Support portal.
I feel your frustration!
Thanks, Tom. Good advice. I figured I'd cover all bases and maybe get a few more folks energized. But a more direct approach is likely to be more effective.
I just fired off a request to the Tableau Support Team, as you advised Tom. Tomorrow's my birthday, so I'm extra hopeful.