Chris I only just glanced at your question but it sounds like a duplicate filter might help/work out your problem. If you duplicate the field and place the original on the filter shelf for things you want to include and then put the dupe on the filter shelf for things you want to exclude, you might get close to what you're looking for.
PS: But we're talking a holiday weekend, and I didn't really read your question -- so sorry if this doesn't help.
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OK and you should also look at the new in V8 'Combined Fields'.
Enjoy your Holiday!
I think what I ended up doing was given three categories I did a count of the types and if the count was two I would keep it and if it was 1 I would exclude it.
Granted it doesn't give me much control on which two but it worked for the specific purpose I had.
Are Combined Fields, Combined Sets? Or something completely different?