Could you let us know the specs of the machine? You may be running into a hardware limitation.
What's the error when it crashes? We're able to upload extracts considerably larger than that without issues, so I don't think you're running into a Tableau limitation there.
The limiting factor is usually more to do with time (i.e. when creating the extract)
more details are needed to determine whether live or extract is preferrable. do you have a high cardinality of data across the dimensions is usually the first question I ask.
more details are needed to determine the cause of crash. I would start with what driver are you using and what is the datasource?