You could setup a couple of action filters to do this.
The selection on the top sheet gives the results you described. To accomplish this I created two action filters:
Both filter from the top sheet to one or the other bottom sheets. Then, I went to the "Compare To" sheet and altered the filter (right click the action filter on the Fields shelf and select "Filter"):
Here, I selected "Exclude" to change the filter so that whatever was selected will be excluded.
I've attached a workbook so you can see it in action.
Filter.twbx 23.5 KB